Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
