We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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