i don't plan on having that self control this summer
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
