where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My friends, they love my intelligence
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
