make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
