is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
