I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
