ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So vagazzling was a success
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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