if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
