I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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