getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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