susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
