so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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