just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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