she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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