ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
