My hand turned me down
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
