saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
