i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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