Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
