i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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