peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
