how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
