you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
