so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
