Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
