i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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