i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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