If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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