i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
