He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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