You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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