went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
