Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
