So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's great music for shaving your balls
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
