the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
