Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
