So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
