Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
