i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
