I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
did i just pee glitter
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
