did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
