Where did you get a picture of my penis
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
