he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
