So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
