So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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