I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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