Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
How's work?
Spinning.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
