Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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