I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
