You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
