So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
