I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
